The Year in Hotness
1/24Surprise Sexiest Scene of the Year: Alexandra Daddario
We live in an age of complete access to pornography at all times. An age of Gorilla- glassed portals, in each of our pockets, to German grannies dot-com. And yet what set the nation on fire last January? A topless scene starring a woman who wasn’t even really famous. At least not until that moment.
**GQ: **Did things change right away?
**Daddario: **The next day my manager called and said, “My phone is ringing off the hook.” I booked a pretty big movie _[San Andreas] _directly after that. It was crazy.
Are you worried Seth MacFarlane is gonna sing about you? What was that song?
“We Saw Your Boobs.” I thought it was funny.
But is it unfair there’s no equivalent for men?
One day a woman will host the Oscars and sing, _We saw your penis, we saw your penis, we saw your penis. _
2/24**Tragically Forgotten _True Detective _Subplot of the Year: The Other Lady Woody Harrelson Has an Affair with, Lili Simmons **
We can’t remember what Lili Simmons’s character had to do with the Yellow King—or frankly even if she got with Young Bewigged Woody or Older Bald Woody— but let’s just say T-Mobile flip-phone sales spiked. Too bad she got overshadowed and out Woodied by Daddario.
3/24Bedroom Move of the Year: Keri Russell
There's a lot** **to love about _The Americans, _like great performances, Reagan-era fashion, and, you know, televised simultaneous oral sex. Even more groundbreaking: Keri Russell and Matthew Rhys’s TV daughter walks in on the 69.
4/24The TV Death Spectrum*****
When Kate Mara’s Zoe Barnes was killed off, we wondered: Was this the most expedient on-air lady death of the year?
*****_Spoilers have likely already been spoiled, because the pictures are larger than the text. _
5/24Have We Reached Peak Butt?
It could be argued that every year is a good year for butts. But some years, like 2014, really do seem to be better at putting the bottoms on top. @jenselter became an Internet phenomenon, mostly for shots of her glutes (#belfies!), like the one above. SI Swimsuit did a rare butts-forward cover. Plus, Nicki Minaj (cheeky), Iggy Azalea (zoinks), and the return of J.Lo are enough to make us wonder if the butt economy is maybe a little overheated. In 2015, will the butt bubble pop?
6/24PR Girls of the Year
It was also a good year for men dressing as women on TV. Even better than 1980. (Bosom Buddies!) Sure, Jeffrey Tambor may win an Emmy for Transparent, but Nick Kroll (and real-lady Jenny Slate) wins LAUGHS for _Kroll Show'_s fake PR reality series “PubLIZity.” In their own words:
“I'm Liz. I'm an ameezing person with an ameezing life.”
“And I'm Liz. I'm a college graduate, and I expect the best.”
7/24Widow of the Year
There was little question heading into the past season of Game of Thrones that Natalie Dormer's Margaery Tyrell would indeed marry the melty-faced brat-king Joffrey and become queen of the Seven Kingdoms. (For those unfamiliar with the show: Yes, that sounds ridiculous, and no, we can't explain.) Of course, Joffrey was POISONED at the wedding, melting his melty face further and leaving Margaery kingless and kinda—but not completely—in charge. So she did the only thing a faux-grieving widow could: cuddled up next to her dearly departed's young brother and won his heart and hand by stroking his cat. No euphemism. What kind of show do you think this is?
8/24Man-Eater of the Year
In Under the Skin, Scarlett Johansson was the sexiest, scariest alien ever. Here's her guide to eating men (at least that's what it looked like) in three easy steps.
9/24Token Woman of the Year
The lone leading lady in Silicon Valley, Amanda Crew, has advice for real-life techies.
**DON'T: **Flirt with social media.
"When we were at a premiere for _Silicon Valley _(in the real Silicon Valley), a lot of the people there were like, ‘Well, you should follow me on Twitter! Are you on Instagram?' They were talking about social-media accounts, like, ‘Follow back?!' And that made me really uncomfortable."
**DO: ****Flirt with computers if you are a "Genius." **"I had to call the Apple help line, and we were talking for a bit—I never said my name, but obviously they have that information—and when we got off the phone, I got a message from the Apple tech adviser that said, ‘Say hi to Pied Piper for me.' I was like, Awesome! I love that he didn't say it on the phone but e-mailed it through the Apple tech thing."
10/24Jennifer Lawrence and Chris Martin survived a pair of conscious uncouplings. When they allegedly got together, they got the best nickname ever: Martin Lawrence.
11/24THE YEAR THE SUPERMODELS OF INSTAGRAM BECAME SUPER-FAMOUS
Terrifyingly good-looking women like these used to be known only to fashion insiders and the freelance artist hired to do ‘Sports Illustrated’ paint-on bikinis. But thanks to Instagram, we're now as familiar with this generation's models as we are with its actresses. Meet—and follow—six of our favorites.
12/24**Chrissy Teigen **
Follow if you like: Anthony Bourdain
Typical geotag: Her kitchen
Cameos: John Legend
Followers: 1.1 million
13/24Candice Swanepoel
Follow if you like: Old McConaughey
Typical geotag: Ipanema
Cameos: Other VS Angels
Followers: 3.8 million
14/24Jourdan Dunn
Follow if you like: Tupac
Typical geotag: Same as Rihanna
Followers: 0.9 million
15/24Karlie Kloss
Follow if you like: A bro who bakes
Typical geotag: The big game
Cameos: Amar'e
Followers: 1.3 million
16/24Kendall Jenner
Follow if you like: Chuck Bass
Typical geotag: Coachella
Cameos: Kim
Followers: 14.6 million
17/24Cara Delevingne
Follow if you like: Bart Simpson
Typical geotag: Sick party
Cameos: Other models
Followers: 7.6 million
18/24**Breakup of the Year: **Rory McIlroy and Caroline Wozniacki
So totally excellent golfer Rory McIlroy and totally excellent tennis player Caroline Wozniacki, longtime megawatt couple, mailed out a stack of wedding invitations in May, only to break up within the week. Sad! But what's important is what happened post-split: Both athletes started playing out of their minds. Rory won two of the year's four majors and vaulted himself to a number one world ranking. And Caroline—after Serena took her for a post-breakup weekend—started playing arguably the best tennis of her career. Everybody wins. Trophy after trophy.
19/24The Three-Act Saga of The Beautiful Belgian World Cup Fan
ACT I
Beautiful Belgian World Cup fan spotted on TV.
ACT II
BBWCF signed to modeling contract.
ACT III
BBWCF posts that she's ready to “hunt Americans” before Belgium-USA game. Contract rescinded.
20/24Fans of the Year: The Beyhive
If you've never been stung by the Beyhive—Beyoncé's swarm of devotees—count yourself lucky. It's an experience of shame and misery with a dash of life-threatening danger. An off-color joke I tweeted about a potential Jay Z and écnoyeB album elicited a call to arms from a hive leader: hundreds of replies, dozens of veiled threats, and teenage girls threatening to beat my ass.
Why don't other famous folks have fans like this? How about an Obamahive? Or better yet, Mr. President, just work with what's already out there: Put the most readily assembled transnational army to work. Trouble with bad guys radicalizing and recruiting via Twitter? Have your speechwriters compose tweets from ISIS about how Katy Perry is better than the Queen Bee. Problem solved.
—@FIVEFIFTHS
21/24Poet Laureate: Nicki Minaj
Lyrical Excerpt: “Anaconda” (2014)
This dude named Michael used to ride motorcycles
Dick bigger than a tower, I ain't talking about Eiffel's
Real country-ass nigga, let me play with his rifle
Pussy put his ass to sleep, now he calling me NyQuil
Now that bang, bang, bang,
I let him hit it 'cause he slang cocaine
He toss my salad like his name Romaine
And when we done, I make him buy me Balmain
22/24Color of the Year: Chastain Red
This fall, a chance to test out four shades of Jessica Chastain
23/24Irresistable English Accent of the Year
Felicity Jones is English, and she plays English twentysomethings (like Stephen Hawking's young wife in The Theory of Everything), and we hope, for the sake of its sweetness, she doesn't feel it necessary to try on any other accent in her acting but her own.
24/24Inevitable Oscar Ladies of the Year
Julianne Moore (Still Alice)
Nominated for: Making early-onset Alzheimer's look worse than cancer.
Oscar clip: “Goddamn it, why won't you take me seriously?! I feel like my brain is fucking dying!”
Inadvertent sexiness: Tom Ford reading glasses.
May lose because: Tilda Swinton.
May win because: Academy hates Alzheimer's.
Reese Witherspoon (Wild)
Nominated for: Hiking, bleeding, shooting up, getting tattoo from Everclear's Art Alexakis, appearing in 98 percent of the film's frames.
Oscar clip: “Fuck you, bitch!” while throwing boot down the side of a mountain.
Inadvertent sexiness: Post-shower assessment of hiking scars/rashes.
May lose because: Extensive interaction with CGI fox (/reincarnated mother).
May win because: Academy loves California.