The Most Absurd Reactions to the Death of Peaches Geldof from the British Press

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After the sudden death of 25-year-old socialite-TV presenter-magazine columnist Peaches Geldof this week, the British press has delved deep, looking for any way to bolster the story. As of today, the cause of her death is inconclusive. But how do you fill airtime with, well, nothing? Perhaps inspired by the nonstop coverage of the missing Malaysian plane, the Daily Mail, The Sun, and even the BBC have found something else to add to the tragic story of a young woman’s unexpected death.

Let’s begin with The Sun. “I had the heart of a 90-year-old gangster,” Peaches Geldof said in a newly uncovered red-carpet interview with The Sun at the premiere of One Day in August 2011. “I had cholesterol and the doctors said stop eating shit. So I did. If you stop eating pizza and chips, you then don’t look like you used to. Do I really look thin? Let’s be honest. I just stopped eating McDonald’s and fucking shit every day,” she continued.

It was seemingly an insightful nearly three-year-old admission, amid the deluge of reports that Geldof suffered from an eating disorder, although, as we earlier stated, the cause of her sudden death early this week is inconclusive.

Over at the Daily Mail, Geldof family friend Gerry Agar confesses that he “was worried about her weight loss. You could see that she was struggling with self-esteem issues—just as Paula did,” Agar continued. “Peaches lost such a lot of weight and then talked in interviews about going on juice-only diets.” Geldof once reported losing 10 pounds in a month on a juice diet.

The Daily Mail then looked to ITV’s resident doctor from This Morning, Chris Steele, who reports: “Bulimic vomiting can create toxic levels of potassium in the body, which can cause heart irregularities or cardiac arrest.”

Steele based his opinion on pictures he’d seen of Geldof. “Without any evidence but just to my eye, Peaches’s knuckles are darker than the rest of the finger and they are enlarged. It is highly likely that it is from bulimia. That’s not bulimia of a couple of weeks’ duration, it is a long-term problem. I don’t know any other condition that causes that in the knuckles.”

Conversely, former BBC anchorman Peter Sissons felt dismayed by the news outlet’s decision to lead Monday’s Ten O’Clock Newswith the death of the 25-year-old:

“In my view, it’s the latest example of news values being infiltrated by the values of the entertainment industry. I should imagine the decision was also influenced by the availability of lots of good recent pictures of the lovely Peaches, much more televisual than boring Ukraine and depressing Rwanda.”

Geldof’s body has now been released to her family, who will begin making the arrangements for her funeral.

Celebrity tributes have also poured in, via social media, such as those of Boy George and Ellie Golding, who tweeted: “I don’t believe it. Even if you think you’ve got it all figured out, some things still can't be explained or understood. Two beautiful children. RIP Peaches.”

Thomas Cohen released a statement of his own on Monday: “My beloved wife Peaches was adored by myself and her two sons. I shall bring them up with their mother in their hearts every day. We shall love her forever.”